completely innapropriate innuendo

I need more thick juicy meat in my life.  Makes salivating smacking noises.


What this really means.  I want steak.  What it can also mean, evil grin.

One of those days

Had a germ of a post in my head this morning.  Then I woke up, after having coffee and I really don't remember what it was about.

my daughters dream this morning

http://www.quotev.com/LosingControl/journal/1472647/Dream-of-Loki/

Where to much weight on your shoulders can harm

I posted this comment on another blog.  But I thought it warranted a blog mention here on it's own.

Once long time ago, in a world removed from the one I’m in now.(I’m telling a story, no rolling of eyes lol). People came to me to tell me their woes. This particular woe was about dissatisfaction in a marriage. I encouraged them to go see a therapist. That person did not.

Then one day, I felt the pattern shift. I’m pretty sure the Wiccan, I had introduced her to(for friendship, cause he needed some) had decided to do a love spell. Which irritated the every living hell out of me, because once done, it cannot be undone, the damn thing had to play out for itself, and I knew the marriage was gone. Any hope of it being repaired, blown away. I was pissed.

Anyway… The marriage went to hell. The man, got screwed over in the first divorce but later got his kids, so that path became ok.(One of the reasons I was fighting for therapy, because if it did go badly, that it would not be so acrimonious and the adults could still stay friends. And hey, less crap to deal with in therapy later on)

I carried that guilt for years. I warned people if you come to me about your marriage troubles either it will get stronger or Woe woe and more woe will happen. Ie I let superstition take hold and think I would screw people up if I listened to the marriage woes.

Anyway years later, I went to an Episcopalian therapist at a Baptist church. I told her the above story. I kept saying, I couldn’t get them to do x. She pointed out how I said it, and that I wasn’t letting them take responsibility(I neglected the magic spell cause ummm, there was only so much I was going to be open about). That I had mentioned over and over and over again, that she needed professional help and she never got it. As she talked or kicked my ass, I felt the guilt leave.

So long story short. Think about that phrase above and whether it is healthy to talk on that amount of guilt and ‘RESPONSIBILITY’ ahead of time. You are human(ish). You are going to fuck up. And that should be ok.

The lesson I learned.

1. I can't control people.  I may see a better path, but that doesn't mean others will take it.  I can't get mad at myself if I won't manipulate them to take that better path, because I find manipulation like that to be unethical. It's not my fault if people don't listen to me.  I should stop making it my fault.  

2. I am human.  If I preach that being human is ok.  If I preach that it is healthy to your self image to be human, and not hurt your psyche by feeling guilty you can't live up to Gods commandments, or Buddha's way, or make it out of the Hindu wheel of Nirvanna, than I should understand I will not always be perfect in my job and duties and I need to let it go.  Learn from my mistakes, pick myself up and dust myself off and get up and try again.  

Bittersweet memeories

So, I had a sad day yesterday.  Not as bad as some of the people I know, who were simmering soup pointlessly.  I know I shouldn't be amused about emo soup but I am, sorry hun.

Anyway...  I'm facing a divorce.  I was missing my best friend yesterday.  I was missing the person who understood me the most.  I was missing and grieving that loss.

The responsible thing, would probably be to google how others deal with it.  But honestly I don't want to do that.  I don't want to open up to others.  I just want to be petted by those I love.

This upcoming divorce has thrown me in many ways.  I have a hard time trusting myself, in picking others.  I feel the ache, where the hole in my heart is.  Sigh, he was my soul mate.

I'm getting over it, but there are parts of me, going what type of friggen dysfunction do I have that I pick the wrong people.  I thought he was the right one.  I thought I had broken my pattern.  How could I make such a mistake.(I don't take failure well).

Why am I writing about this.  So that others, if they choose to read about it, and they are going through stuff, will be helped?  It felt like something I should do, so I hope it helps somebody.

Bad weather

My thoughts are with the south today and yesterday.  Tommorow is supposed to be bad as well.  Keep your heads down and stay safe.

Guys, contact the various charities and see what is needed.  I know that shampoo and food was needed after Katrina.  Many churches house people who have been displaced and they turn into shelters.  Time to reach out guys.

The things you learn while reading quilting stuff

How to have a happy time while ironing.  It also gets out wrinkles(why no one told me starch helps as when I try to iron I end up putting in wrinkles) and makes cloth crisp.  Thus why quilters are discovering the love of starch, because when piecing triangles and other small pieces of fabric(that you cut up from a perfectly good big yard, to put back together for a blanket) it helps if the fabric is crisp and not floppy.

http://ex-scapes.com/2013/03/03/homemade-vodka-spray-starch/

Ok people here is the blog with the recipe at the bottom.  Yup Potato vodka and water equals starch, who woulda thunk it.

Link to explain more of why it is useful, from a quilters blog.
http://www.butterflycottagepatterns.com/the-definitive-guide-to-spray-starch/