Thursday, July 3, 2014

Pondering on relationships.

I've been cogitating on this for a bit.  What relationships mean to me.  Now I know the Greeks had four forms of love, see linky if you are interested in ancient Greek expressions of love.

When I was in my early twenties, having someone over and just chilling, I may have considered a relationship. Now that I'm older and wiser and sometimes more crotchety, not so much.  A romantic relationship I require a bit more.  This is true of romantic as well as platonic, and also for Deities.

1. Respect for me and Respect for my children.  My kids come first.  If you can't get along with my kids, I can accept that, but I am not going to change my life, we won't see much of each other.

2. Honesty.  I will be honest and forthright with you, I expect the same.  No head games.  I realize this is ironic from a Lokean, but it has been my experience that I get honesty from Loki.  If there needs to be lessons and trickery I get some forewarning.  But no mean head games.  I don't have much patience for high-school games.

3. Acceptance.  I try to accept and not change people. I expect the same in return.

4. Communication.  Yes this means talking shit out.  I may be an empath but I don't want to try to be the psychic friends network to understand something, that you are perfectly capable of using your mouth for.  It wastes my energy, and aggravates me.  Talk.  While we are at it, the phone is a tool, use it.  If you say you are going to get back to me, do so.  If you are going to be late, let me know.

All the above are requirements for both my friendship love and my romantic love. It is about establishing trust.

In order for their to be romantic love, I need to be friends with you.  I need to feel safe.  Otherwise I have trouble dropping my guard and then the connection is hard to make.

For someone who I am romantic with, I need to laugh.  I can't explain why but a man that is funny is sexy as all get out.  It may be because they don't take themselves that seriously and can make me relax.  But yeah to get in my pants, make me laugh.

I also need to be mentally challenged.  I find smart people to be very titillating. Engaging a fellow smart person, is very satisfying.

There is more to a relationship to me than just hanging out.  It's about the good and the bad times.  Friendships need to be tempered in the fires of arguments from time to time.

Like I said, I've been pondering on this.  It needs more work.

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