http://saltyourbones.wordpress.com/2013/12/25/what-to-offer-deities-and-how-to-figure-it-out/ This is a very good post, check it out. She writes about how I feel how the Gods came to be. Shakes fist at her, and grins. Goes grrr grrr grr at ya.
My baseline for Pagans I encounter is peers. I have no issue arguing and debating shiny mental mastubatory concepts. Whether Morrigan is a peace entity or a bad ass bitch on the battlefield, based on the stories. That's fine. What isn't fine is telling someone, that the way they worship their personal Gods is wrong. I don't think I've ever done that.
I also have a huge issue with, well I was and I am poor and I manage to do this. How you managed to do something will be different from others. Your challenges are not theirs. Some sacrifices may be too much, and no one has the right to shame others in regards to that. While I did sigh in regards to the charity post, about money and how others choose to spend it, shaming is quite different. I don't pay their bills, I really don't have a right nor does anyone else, to get uppity about it.
My UPG is more imp to me, then whether or not it matches up with what the ancients did. I have a personal relationship with my Gods. They are not my Kings. I don't operate out of a fear paradigm. It is about love.
I have also run into a big lesson in this life. QUESTION everything. Gut check, is important. It is one of the reasons I respect Scott Cunningham(Yeah that's what the whole do what feels right to you is about guys. He's saying listen to your intuition), because he does stress he doesn't know it all and your intuition is one of the best guides to listen to. Also, I am told by my Gods to do this. My gut check isn't just with humans.
Just because someone has been doing something for a while, doesn't make what they are doing, the right fit for you. Your intuition will tell you. Consider our history(the larger occult community) of dishing out a lot of bullshit, doesn't necessarily mean, that they are knowledgable. Harry Houdini debunked quite a lot of mediums in his day(many of which came from spiritualism, which does play into our Paganism) for being frauds. Aleister Crowley, while gifted, was also a heroin addict among many other issues. Gardner, liked to spank nubile young thangs(50 years of Wicca), does that really mean we need to continue scourging to raise energy, because Gardner really liked to do it?
Our modern Pagan practitioners aren't much different. We all have issues, of one sort or another. While that doesn't make them a bad teacher, it should be taken into consideration. Your intuition is wiser than your cognitive functions, I have found, it is not shameful, if you have asked for advice and your gut says No, to not do that advise.
We have the opportunity to bring back to life stuff that has lain dormant. Not only can we bring it back but we can do it better. We can understand the lessons of the past and take the compassion and empathy of what we have fought for in the modern age and apply it. We can find better ways of doing things, that other cultures have done, instead of doing only what the ancients did. That doesn't make it wrong, that makes it using your head.